16 April 2020
Popularity Poll Convincing;
by HFP Staff
Never has a favorability poll in a presidential election been more lopsided. A survey taken between Monday the 13th of April 2020 and Wednesday the 15th had Diddley Squat polling near 100% in public confidence and likeability, while his negatives were a huge, round, perfect zero!
In a survey of 145 adults over the age of 16, both presumed Democratic nominee Joseph Biden and incumbent President Donald Trump were liked by fewer than five percent of respondents compared to over 99 percent of respondents who said they liked Diddley Squat "a lot." Squat scored almost as high in public confidence, based on perceptions of honesty and competence to do the job. In that category, he rated a historical 98.6 percent approval - higher than any candidate for President since polling began in the 1940s. Again, Trump and Biden garnered record-setting low polling numbers. Neither achieved five percent in the confidence categories, according to the survey.
The survey was taken in Aurora, Colorado and Reston, Virginia, two states with a distinct contrast in political leanings. Despite the ideological differences, the poll showed almost no variation between locations in answers to questions asked. The hamster dominated all age groups, as well.
Diddley Squat hopes to be elected President in November along with his esteemed running mate and Vice Presidential pick, Monaham (in photo above).
Given the unprecedented popularity of Diddley Squat, one might be tempted to think of the elections in the fall as a mere formality.
But in reality, Diddley has an uphill road to climb, even against contenders as unpopular as Trump and Biden. As of this writing, his name will not appear on the ballot in any of the 50 states. Voters will have to write in his name to cast their vote for the humble, honorable, peace-loving hamster. And while it's true that no write-in candidate has ever been elected to the high office in U.S. history, the popularity polls have never before been so slanted toward any candidate.
The campaign will be commissioning more political research, looking especially at those eligible voters who stay home on election day. Non-voters have consistently outnumbered those voting for major party candidates in all federal elections, at least since the 1930s. It is thought that a hamster in the campaign, even if his name isn't on the ballot, could motivate those potential voters who have simply given up on the insanity, the corruption, the lack of credibility that humans bring to an election.
In any case, regardless of whether Diddley qualifies to be on the ballot, it's clear he has a huge lead over his rivals. This year there is a real possibility that the country will send a warm, fuzzy hamster to the White House. At long last!!!
Vote Diddley Squat for President on November 3rd! Why wouldn't you? He's the obvious choice!
Hamster for President!