As network television and newspapers conveniently look the other way, hamsters from all over the country are gathering in Washington, DC for the Hamster For President Political Convention of Election Year 2000. As shown in the photo above, tens of thousands of hamsters debated the virtues of the various potential nominees. As older hamsters move aside to take advantage of a richly-deserved retirement, the young ones are expected to challenge their middle-aged counterparts over the relative benefits of youthful optimism versus seasoned pragmatism. A vigorous discussion is expected as the week-long conference continues, at the close of which the furry delegates are expected to select, by unanimous acclamation, the perfect leader who, with his or her running mate, heirs, and co-heirs, shall replace the current occupants of the White House.
All hamsters aged 8 weeks or older have been invited to attend and cast their ballots in the nominating process. Hamsters younger than 8 weeks are welcome, but will not be given ballots (as in the past they have chewed them up). Hamster of all ages will, however, get to particpate in the final selection process at which the new nominee will be proclaimed the official Hamster For President candidate and the next president of the United States of America. The convention closes on Saturday the 29th.
As always, refreshments will be served, campaign merchandise will be on sale, and live entertainment will be featured. Floor litter will be changed three times daily. For reservations (rodents only), please call our international headquarters and off-shore financial office in Kenya at 011 254 321 HAMSTER.
For those of you who simply must speculate even before the conclusion of the proceedings, below are the faces of the "hamsters-most-likely."
Anxious to know how the nomination process is going? Well, you can check back every day beginning in mid July. You can also receive automatic e-mail notices alerting you to changes to this web site, including the announcement of the nominee and running mate. It's simple. Just enter your e-mail address below.