Single Beige Male ....
...SEEKS NEVER-MARRIED BLACK FEMALE, UNDER THREE MONTHS OF AGE ... OBJECT MATRIMONY AND LARGE FAMILY.
The lifespan of a hamster, as all of us know, is disastrously short. And while in perfect health, our once-youthful candidate, the honorable Potus, has at 27 months now considerably surpassed his life expectancy. Though healthy and still active in politics, he realizes that at the upcoming Hamster For President political convention this fall, the nomination will almost certainly go to a youthful successor.
But there is just one problem. There is no youthful successor.
In an attempt to solve the problem as soon as possible, young Cecil (in photo above) has actively begun a search for the perfect wife.
Cecil is the son of Yoda and Diamond, born 28 July 2003. He is honest, generous, and gentle, and has an adequate supply of seeds, blocks, biscuits, veggies and fruits to share with a wife and growing family. Cecil is a virgin - and will never auction off his virtue on eBay. He promises not to escape his cage in search of ill-gotten adventures, and will remain faithful for life to his new bride. And, of course, he expects the future wife to behave in the same way.
Cecil hopes to find a suitable partner by the end of the month - and, with a bit of luck, he hopes to set the wedding as close as possible to the 28th of July, his first birthday. The prospective bride should live in the National Capital Area (in Washington, DC or one of the neighboring states of Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia and Delaware), and must be willing to rear their litter in a most upright fashion so as to have at least one son or daughter worthy to occupy the White House as President of the USA.
Cecil prefers to have a black bride (or black & white "panda"), so that the family can continue to produce offspring of unique and exotic appearance.
Please send information about possible mates to Cecil at: Campaign2004@HamsterForPresident.com.
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