Bush v. Gore 2000

Make a Difference

Election time is nearly upon us. As you prepare to go to the polls, please consider hanging around to hand out Hamster For President literature. Help to get our message out to that majority of voters who feel their only choice is to vote for "the lesser evil" or to cast a ballot for one candidate on the sole grounds that the other guy is "even worse." Let them know that there really is an alternative, a candidate who is literally "warm and fuzzy" and committed to non-interference in their lives. We have prepared two similar one-page flyers which you can print and hand out at neighborhood precincts. One is for those with black and white printers; the other can be used with a color printer. Take a moment or two to view and print multiple copies of the flyer of your choice. And then we can help others to send a message to the political establishment. Vote Hamster!

I understand how difficult and confusing this election is for many people. All this talk about Grecians putting money in a 'lockbox,' and all the panting and huffing and stammering about being ready to start and win wars, about imposing "their" ideas on people in every part of the world. It's hard to feel comfortable with the major party candidates. And I don't blame you.

I am Diddley Squat and I am running for president.

I invite you to cast a vote for real change. Humans out! Hamsters in! End military wars and class wars and drug wars - end all wars! And above all, end the cannibalistic power struggle between the parties of Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

With hamsters in the White House, the present unscrupulous political system will be a thing of the past. We will sleep all day and run on our little hamster wheels all night. No intern scandals, no bombs, no more taxes. If you are old enough to vote, you are an adult, and we will trust you to govern yourselves. We promise never to interfere with your independent, creative spirit!

Our election will mark the beginning of the era of pax rodentus, of prosperity, peace and freedom. Diddley Squat and Yarash, Jr., along with his brother and running mate, are truly the "warm and fuzzy" candidates who can do away with authoritarian rule and usher in an era of honesty and optimism.

YJ and I really want your vote. In half the time it took you to read this flyer, you can write in your preference for the Diddley Squat-Yarash, Jr. ticket. Vote Hamster for President in 2000!

We thank you and we trust you and we love you.

[NOTE: Flyers are no longer online. Ed. 2010 ]

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