Beetle died just before 6:00 a.m. on the 26th of September, 2012.

eetle has matured from a wayward young prankster into a highly responsible young adult. The change began when his beloved mother, the late great Sharkie, passed away after a short and unexpected illness. Her condition terrified him, ending his extended childhood and forcing him to deal with adversity of the worst kind. As her health worsened, he vowed to her that he would mend his ways and begin living up to the high expectations that she and Beetle's father, Gabe, had for him.

The transformation of Beetle was nothing short of amazing. He ceased his nightly pursuit of online gambling and shopping eBay with "pretend" credit cards and took up instead the kind of serious study that he admired in his grandfather, the legendary Spencer.

Beetle wants to know as much as possible about everything there is to know - from genetics and advanced mathematics and chemistry to history, music, literature, and religion. Beetle, in short, is a budding Renaissance Ham.

None of this should imply that young Beetle has lost his playful innocence entirely. He still gets that glint of mischief in his eye and occasionally feels tempted to try to get away with "something." But his serious side, his gift to his sainted mother, is the one he shows most often.

In a formal hamster wedding the evening of 18 January, 2012, Beetle married Bitty, who joined the household in November. They are the proud parents of five children, including presidential candidate Diddley Squat VI.



Election 2012