eetle, as the campaign's senior staffer, is in charge of election strategy, including outreach to the public (human, rodent and otherwise), fundraising, event-scheduling, and setting priorities for web and video publicity. He holds advanced degrees in paper recycling and small tunnel engineering. He maintains his youthful appearance by occasional wheel running and a strict-with-rare-exceptions vegetarian diet.

Beetle is the brother of the late, great Dolly, the sainted grandmother of candidate Diddley Squat. Unmarried, his life is

dedicated to seeing his great-nephew sent to the White House in November of 2020. "Nobody is more suited to the job," he says. "And there is nothing greater one can do for this country than to elect Diddley Squat President."

Beetle has long been an advocate for privacy and press freedom, and advises Bijou on the latest news concerning persecution of journalists, government surveillance, the malignant "secrecy" policies of the state, and related matters. He is also a friend to all immigrants, and as presidential policy adviser, will make sure the U.S. has open borders again, as was the case prior to 1924.