HAMSTER FOR PRESIDENT 2012

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The results of the primaries are in at last! With all fifty states counted, young Diddley Squat VI has been declared the winner after capturing delegate-rich states like California, Ohio, New York and Illinois, as well as other key states like New Jersey, Colorado and Virginia.

Coming in second was Cropsie, who won big in sixteen states, including Michigan and Florida. Cosmo started out in the lead by winning inte Iowa Rodent Caucuses, then going on to grab two of the biggest prizes, Texas and Pennsylvania, while Einstein did extremely well in places like Maryland, Vermont and Wisconsin.


Diddley Squat will be the HFP nominee in the November election.

Nominee Diddley Squat plans to announce his running mate on the first day of the Hamster For President convention which will be held from the 14th to 19th of August at the Rodents Inn and Suites near Casper, Wyoming. The Inn is being leased for the occasion by a generous campaign benefactor, George, a wild horse who lives in the area. George, pictured at right, is wearing a borrowed bridle for the occasion, knowing that the credit cards of wild horses are rarely accepted at local business establishments.

Over three thousand rodents are expected to attend the six-day convention, and over a ton of straw, seeds, and veggies have been ordered for the event.

Speculation is rampant about Diddley's choice of running mate. Many campaign supporters have urged him to choose Einstein because his name gives the ticket added intellectual gravitas. Others favor a female running mate, suggesting Sage, a noted film-maker who seems reluctant to take time off work; Cropsie, who rallied a lot of voters in the primary; and even Cropsie's wayward daughter Goldie. Insiders report, however, that Diddley is leaning either to his mentor Fuzzy-Sozo or brother Squit.

Squit has the advantage of already having established his legal residence in Virginia. And some pollsters say that a ticket that consists of brothers named Diddley and Squit Squat gives the party instant name recognition. Diddley insists that he hasn't yet made up his mind.


George, a horse, is financing this years HFP Convention. Hamsters have long sided with Wyoming's wild horses who are being rounded up by the Bureau of Land Management and given birth control injections against their will.


UPDATE: On Monday, the 14th of August, 2012, Diddley Squat announced that his running mate will be his brother, Squit Squat. The announcement was made in Washington, DC, where thousands of supporters were on hand to hear Squit deliver his first speech of the campaign.

Click here for the story.


The Rodent's Inn & Suites, located just outside of Casper, Wyoming, has been chosen as the site of the Hamster For President 2012 Political Convention.